District Limerick

His website now lingually dual
Newt Gingrich thinks you are a fool
A comment so rotten
Is not soon forgotten
Oh man, what a vote-grubbing tool

-D.L.

The mood was quite sad and serene
‘Til “shots” did appear on the scene
The Guard that is Costal
Made newsmen go postal
With drills that they say are routine

They gathered en masse Saturday
A bonafide right wing buffet
Beck sure is verbose
But not even close
To something worthwhile to say

Congrats to the great PoP
Who just quit his job with such glee
Goodbye to commuting
In sweats he’s computing
He’ll Blog with a capital ‘B’

-D.L.

This poet supports public arts
But what’s with new stuff in these parts?
I like my trees real
Not made out of steel
I won’t even start on those hearts…

-D.L.

Joe Wilson last night was That Guy
A fact he won’t try to deny
It seems that he gets it
He says he regrets it
He shouldn’t have shouted “you lie”

-D.L.

There’s one resident of our city
Deserving a lot of our pity
To be hit by a bus
Cannot be a plus
In fact, it seems totally shitty

Mount P’s always been number one
But recently they have begun
To be a bit greener
With energy cleaner
By harnessing rays of the sun

A testing result abberation
Has prompted an investigation
Wrong answers erased
With rights ones, replaced
So far, not a good explanation

Since recess is always a snooze
It’s rough on the limerick muse
Your rhymer can’t wait
September, day eight
Yeah Congress, please make me some news!

-D.L.

When business nearby disapproved
The snow-white ghost bike was removed
Her kin, so bereaved:
Predictably peeved
So far DC gov seems unmoved

With schools in DC underway
The Fenty kids just joined the fray
Their school is the best
Because it’s not West
And Rhee says there was no foul play

Where bodies just seem to accrue
This weekend, young life sprang anew
The news from Rock Creek
Conveyed by a squeak
Two owl babies now at the zoo

As much as I like my Five Guys
I live for Hell Burgers and fries
My heavy ol’ heart
Is sad to impart
The AdMorg location: all lies

-D.L.

Today our great nation’s bereft
Of moral (and physical) heft
He’ll ne’er again roar
‘Bout health care and war
A loss to the right and the left

-D.L.

His in-bounds school, Fenty eschewed
And questions, he tried to elude
The twins’ public school:
A rare District jewel
Strange choice, I can’t help but conclude.

-D.L.

The empress of eighty eight five
While crossing the street, took a dive
Ms. Rehm broke some bones
So no dulcet tones
Don’t worry; we hear she’ll survive

In news that has Wonkette delighted
The man whose career seemed so blighted
Once known as The Hammer
Tom’s dancing with glamour
The secret to fame: get indicted!

-D.L. (recently returned from vacation on an internet-less farm)

This week was the hottest one yet
You went to the pool to get wet?
With hours extended
For purpose intended
Of bathing it something ’sides sweat

A. Fenty too sweated and panted
From news of one third still enchanted
With twenty ten looming
Not much, he’s assuming
His mantra: “take nothing for granted”

The rag that gives homeless a hand
Which doesn’t quite fly off the stand
A brand new website
With luck, will incite
It’s reading base soon to expand

Contained in the vial of glass
T’was found underneath AU grass
Where testing occurred
What’s left was interred
With traces of blistering gas

-D.L.