His in-bounds school, Fenty eschewed
And questions, he tried to elude
The twins’ public school:
A rare District jewel
Strange choice, I can’t help but conclude.

-D.L.

The empress of eighty eight five
While crossing the street, took a dive
Ms. Rehm broke some bones
So no dulcet tones
Don’t worry; we hear she’ll survive

In news that has Wonkette delighted
The man whose career seemed so blighted
Once known as The Hammer
Tom’s dancing with glamour
The secret to fame: get indicted!

-D.L. (recently returned from vacation on an internet-less farm)