District Limerick

Z Burger in upper Northwest
Wants us fed, but knows budgets are stressed
So Thursday’s your turn
Say “yowsa” and earn
A burger that comes custom dressed

But what, if like some, you’re off meat?
In part for the gas cows excrete
You just can’t accept
The way they are kept
For free, there’s not much you can eat!

In response to the fiscal malaise
The council saw fit to appraise
The money they’re due
Saves a staffer or two
So they’ll turn down the usual raise

-D.L.

The sight of locked doors and full racks
Had customers stopped in their tracks
On paper was scrawled
The phone to be called
If ever to get back your  slacks

-D.L.

We’ve got African rates of infection
Even more that are missed in detection
Set aside rhymes and jokes
This is serious, folks
Have sex only using protection

-D.L.

He checked out the car and then- lo!
A follower of bu-shi-do
A frightening thing
To take down the king
And emulate Inejiro

-de poetry non est disputandum

Want tix for the Modest Mouse show?
A job is what you must bestow
His logic is faulty
For ‘Ocean Breathes Salty’
Ain’t something that I would forego*

-D.L.

*Disclaimer: District Limerick does not actually have tickets for this show**. She will happily take extras off your hands though.

**Disclaimer 2: Edward Leer has two tickets for this show. He will happily trade them both for a job.

It looks like the next Surgeon Gen
Won’t be the doc on CNN
His name’s off the table
He’s staying on cable
Not keeping us safe from fen-phen

-D.L.

“I have always believed that the public has the right to know what its government is doing and thinking about, and the right to criticize and make comments on government policies.”

I don’t mean to sound like a sleaze
But come on David Malakoff, geez:
You viewed a webpage
Starring kids underage
And you did it at work? Oh, please

-the guy sleeping on D.L.’s couch